Low. Then Light. Then Life!

It's for real. This stuff you hear about the Winter Blues and Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.) is all true.

I've known this for years - subconsciously I think - but I've known it. How? Because I experience it every year. Every winter I feel like I go into a sort of... hibernation and my light ALMOST goes out. When Spring finally rolls around I feel like I come to life again. This year, it has really taken its toll on me and I hit rock bottom - without even realizing what was going on. Things that normally would have been small seemed like mountains. I felt hopeless, like I was in a downward spiral, and there would be no getting out. All I wanted to do was go home and go to bed after work. I cried every day (not that that is ALL that unusual for me -- to which those who know me best will testify). My point is, I didn't feel like my normal happy, positive, take-on-the-world self. On top of that, it was CHRISTMAS when we're all supposed to be happy. Yah - I went through the motions. I did my shopping and put up my tree. I wrapped gifts and delivered treats to my neighbors. But I was not happy. Every day I would drive to work (in the dark), sit in my office (without a window and real sunlight), then drive home (again, in the dark).

Thankfully, I have a great friend who suggested I try light therapy. You can read all about this on the Internet. I found several varieties of lights online, and was lucky enough to purchase a brand new top-of-the-line light from someone on KSL.com. This lady's husband has been using one for several years, and swears by it. She said they both realize when winter rolls around that he begins to drag and isn't himself, so they get out his light and he starts using it. She had one exactly like the one he was using, but it had been unopened -- still brand new, in the box for quite a bit less than retail. I did some research online about that light, and bought it that very day (December 23, to be exact) and it has made a world of difference. I crave that time in the mornings when I am near my light (believe it or not, it's called a "Happy Light"). It simulates actual sunlight. It just feels good to be around.

I am starting to come around and feel a little bit more like myself day by day. I feel like I HAVE feeling again. I'm no longer numb. I am so grateful to understand this about myself, and to have something I can DO about it. For this reason, I have exploited this not-so-comfortable fact about myself. In hopes that maybe it will help someone out there in cyber blog world who might be experiencing the same thing. When I read through the symptoms it was as if I had written them myself...

Do You Have the Winter Blues?
If you experience two or more of these symptoms each year in the fall and into the spring you may suffer from the winter blues:

Increased feelings of lethargy
Difficulty waking up in the mornings as the days get shorter
Difficulty concentrating and thinking creatively in comparison to the summer months
Incorrectly blaming oneself for things that go wrong
Difficulty performing tasks that normally seem to be easy/enjoyable

If you think this sounds like depression, you are right. SAD is a form of depression, but it is caused by the reduction of daylight during the winter months. And even if you are inside in artificial light most of the day, you can still suffer from a lack of daylight. Mental health professionals diagnose a person as having SAD if they have these symptoms for two consecutive winters, and do not have the symptoms in the spring and summer.

So - I am going to try to continue to do the things that will help me feel better. I can't wait to be able to get out and walk again in the mornings. That is healing time for me, inside and out. And now, maybe I have more of an understanding why. I need light. Plain and simple. This also explains why I love San Diego so much.

To all of you who have wondered where "their Kathy" went... I'm coming back. Thank you for putting up with me.

Happy (Hectic) Holidays!

This has got to be one of the most hectic Christmas seasons ever. Okay, it probably isn’t, actually. But it still feels like it. Between work, homework, church callings, chores, cooking, shopping, wrapping, parties, snow shoveling, and relationships (which should be the most important thing)… it’s a bear. BUT every once in a while I stop for a moment and think of the Savior and feel immense appreciation for His compassion, for His patience with me, and for the opportunity for growth (no matter how much I kick and scream along the way). I’ll be the first to admit I need to focus on Him way more often because when I do – it is a moment filled with peace. Just one moment. But – oh – what a glorious moment!

Here are some of our memories from this year…

Back in November of 2008 the company I have worked for since 1990 (DataChem Laboratories) was sold to ALS Laboratory Group. To say that the buyout caused a ripple in my life would be a massive understatement. I felt like the bottom had just fallen out of my world. Several of my very closest friends were … ahem … let go, one of whom was my boss Ken Olson. Thankfully, Ken and I still keep in touch regularly and will be friends regardless of our “job situations.” I am grateful to him for his belief in me and his support (in many different capacities) of my family and me over these many years. Things at the office have settled down somewhat and I have found myself in a different position doing different tasks, but for now I am grateful to have a job (and the modest income that comes with it).

Rylan is now 13 years old and attending his first year of middle school (7th grade). He is loving it. Well – loving everything about it except for Science and ‘running the mile’ in gym. The coolest things about middle school – according to Rylan – are having a locker and not having to sit in one class all day long. He has made some new friends, and is getting very good grades.

He started taking piano lessons this year. He has had fun with some of his recent Christmas pieces and loves to memorize them. Once he has them down we get to hear them over and over (and over) again. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. I am proud of him. He is a great kid, and I am so blessed to have him in my life.

He is also serving as the 2nd Counselor in his Deacon’s Quorum. He is a kind young man who is always concerned about the feelings of others. I am constantly amazed by his goodness and his willingness to do the right thing. I’m not saying he doesn’t have moments of “13.” He does. But for the most part, he is awesome.

We tried to have a dog this year. Did that work out? Not s’much. Moving right along…

We did have a hamster named Champ. He was an awesome little (BIG) hamster. Unfortunately we sold him because we got the aforementioned dog. (I had to use a big word there to give my friend – an attorney – something entertaining to read.) Champ loved to walk around in his little exercise ball and cruise in his hamster wheel in the middle of the night.

In September Rylan and I took a quick trip to San Diego just to sneak away from it all (see blog and photos below). It wasn’t a long vacation, but we had an awesome time together. Rylan pretty much lived in the ocean 24/7 (other than eating and sleeping). He had so much fun with a boogie board I picked up for him at one of the little beach shops on the boardwalk. I relaxed on the beach, collected sea shells, and shopped at one of my favorite stores on Coronado Island. We ate clam chowder every chance we got and loved every minute. Before we knew it, we were back home again, but those are memories we’ll have forever. I’m glad we did it.

In November I hit the big 4-1. What a depressing number. Just kidding. It’s all right. I don’t FEEL like I’m 41. At least not most of the time. There are days. But age is just a number, right? At least that’s what “they” keep telling me.

We wish you all a very MERRY CHRISTMAS and a Happy New Year! Thank you for your friendship.

Love,
Kathy and Rylan

Dig these Dancing Dudes!

Elf Yourself! Check out Rylan and his buddy Bryan starring in their very own jig.

http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/P51ycxWUmqzmpkA9IpfY

Boyz, Basketballs, and Buckets

Rylan played basketball with a county rec team this fall. The poor kids got spanked most of the season... until one day they WON! They played in the semi-finals and - although they played hard - they were eliminated. But we've signed up for Jr. Jazz with the same team (they like to call themselves the Spartans). We're starting to gel, and we've got a new assistant coach who seems to have what it takes to really motivate the boys to do their best and give it their all. Go Spartans!

Big Birthday Bash!

On August 15, 2009, Mom and Sterling were the honored guests at their 80th Birthday Bash! Their birthdays are one day apart, so it gave us the perfect excuse to throw them a double birthday party. The whole family came, and friends and neighbors even stopped by to wish them 80 more. Okay, maybe not quite 80 more, but hey. They can TRY! Below is a the invitation we sent out as well as a slideshow of the "Birthday Kids" and our families at the shindig.

Make a Smilebox slideshow

A Stable, The Savior, and Singing

I am blessed to sing with a choir called the Sterling Singers (www.sterlingsingers.com). We have anywhere from 250-450 members, depending on the time of year. Our Director is Kelly DeHaan (who is also the Choir Director at West Jordan High School). He is awesome, and makes it so much fun. It is hard work--don't get me wrong--but it is rewarding. For about the past year and a half I have been asked to design our invitations and flyers. Just recently, we completed the flyer for our upcoming Christmas concert. (Ironically, I won't be singing in this one. I decided to take a little breather from now until the end of the year to stay home with Rylan on Sunday nights when we typically rehearse.) Anyway, I found the awesome watercolor art on the Internet and knew it would be perfect for our invitation. Here's how it turned out:

Sea Shells, Sunsets, and Sand

I whisked Rylan away this month for a quick getaway to San Diego. He was out of school for UEA, and this was my last-ditch effort to go somewhere warm before the snow flies (which, incidentally, it did this morning, 10/27). Rylan had gone on scout camp, youth conference, and visited his Grandma and Grandpa Shanks in Missouri for a week, but I got to work. Every day.

Rylan grew gills from being in the ocean sun up till sun down. We ate clam chowder every chance we got - it was the best at The Fish Market in downtown San Diego. And we had fun driving around in our VERY bright blue PT Cruiser. It was reminiscent of a past trip we took to San Diego when we were lucky enough to rent a convertible PT Cruiser. Good Times!

We hit my favorite little shop in the Hotel Del on Coronado Island - it's called Babcock & Story. I don't know why, but it's therapeutic for me to shop there. I always find a little goodie to take home to remind me of the beach. While I'm shopping I can look out the windows and SEE the ocean. It is a beautiful setting! This year, I brought home some yummy smelling oil and bath powders. Mmmmmm. Kaffee's a happy girl.