Rejuvenation

[I posted this in October, but our trip was in August.]

I am on an airplane as I type this flying from California to Salt Lake City. 

Megan and I have spent the last few days in San Diego. We both share the wonderful gift of anxiety, so this little getaway was a blessing for us both in so many ways. Mostly because we could see the hand of our Father in Heaven guiding us throughout this little vacation and showing us tender mercies along the way. We enjoyed being able to plan on the fly with only a general idea of an itinerary in mind. We knew the things we wanted to do, but didn't have a hard fast schedule. We just let it happen and it was perfect. 

We were able to visit several beaches and see the beauties of the ocean. The waves that kept coming and coming and coming - neverending peace. That was the whole reason I wanted to go. To be at the beach. While I was there I said a simple little prayer to thank my Heavenly Father for the opportunity to be at such a peaceful place. 

We visited the Hotel Del at Coronado Island and I was able to browse around in my favorite little shop, Babcock and Story. I didn't buy anything, but I walked around with a great big grin - it just felt awesome to be there. There's something that speaks to my soul when I'm there. Something healing. We spent the entire afternoon at the beach at Coronado Island. We saw tons of living creatures among the outcroppings and rocks in the tide pools, everything from sea anenomes to crabs (both hermit and the regular variety). We collected sea shells and sand to bring home with us. 

When we visited La Jolla we were able to sit about five feet away from sea lions and watch them bask in the sunlight. We were able to watch fish swim at our feet in The Cove. It was a pretty incredible place. I walked out into the ocean -- it was chilly at first, but then I just let the waves carry me up and down. 

The weather was absolutely perfect. Not too hot; not too cold. Just beautiful. We were able to do all the things we wanted to do. We ate dinner the first night at The Cheesecake Factory, and followed it up with a piece of cheesecake named "The Chocolate Tuxedo." Mmmmm. Chocolate! It was delicious and we savored every bite. On one of the mornings we felt like a grand breakfast, so we had one! We went to a place named Richard Walker's Pancake House. Their specialty is baked pancakes. They are the size of a plate, and baked like German pancakes, but they have about six different varieties from apple to pecan. We had the pecan one and split it. Oh. My. Goodness. It was delicious. All this delicious caramelized/syrupy sauce and sweet pecans. Such a fun experience. We also had a really tasty carnitas dinner at a Mexican restaurant in the Gaslamp district - that's where all the action is downtown. Restaurants and shops up and down every street. Crazy with people. And "pedi cabs" everywhere. A bicycle taxi contraption peddled by one "driver" and seats for up to four people. They drive around with their lights flashing and their music blaring offering rides to everyone - for a price. :) 

We stayed at an incredible hotel called the Grand Hyatt - Manchester Grand. Oh my. It was right in the heart of downtown San Diego. I booked it on Hotwire so I didn't know what hotel we would be in until after I paid for it. All they show you are the amenities, the general location, and the price. Then, once you pay, they reveal to you where you are staying. I saw the photos and just about fell over in my chair. It was gorgeous! The lobby itself looked like it came right out of the movies. It was HUGE. We were on the 12th floor in one of two super tall towers. We had a view right out to the bay so we could watch the sailboats and all the people buzzing around downtown San Diego. In the evenings we loved going back to our room, getting in our jammies, and just chilling (reading, sewing, watching The Paradise, etc.). We didn't turn our TV on one time. It was glorious! Our room was very modern, but still cozy and comfortable. In the mornings we would sit by our window and just people watch until we felt like getting ready and heading out for the day. 

I was so thankful for this opportunity! I really needed this little getaway. Just time to reconnect with myself and with the beauty of the ocean. Time to sit in the sunshine rather than the four walls of home or work. It was a beautiful, fun, rejuvenating time. 

Faith or Fear?

Sometimes this whole "faith" business is really REALLY hard. Especially when everything mortal about you screams what a fool you are. But my faith is stronger than my fear. Some days, only by a sliver. But nonetheless, it is stronger. This is my reminder to myself to follow faith. To trust in my Heavenly Father no matter what. To know that someday these difficult passages of time will all seem like a blur, and I will be at peace knowing I did the very best I could. Knowing and trusting that Heavenly Father knows my weaknesses as well as my strengths because He created me. And He loves me. And he wants me to be happy. One of my favorite quotes from the General Conference that just passed was, "Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith." I believe it was President Dieter F. Uchtdorf who said it. But it made an impact.

Are You a Good Witch or a Bad Witch?

Today is Halloween. I didn't have the mental capacity to come up with a glamorous costume this year, but I have had a cute little witch's hat stored away in my garage that I bought on clearance after Halloween last year, so that ended up being my go-to "costume." It has been fun to have it at work. A costume without the costume. :)

Here is my pumpkin - this was my first attempt at a drilled-hole pumpkin. You actually drill holes with your power drill. It was quite fun, actually. I had no pattern and intended to just do some scrolly work, but ended up doing an "S" for Shanks with scrolly work on the sides. Hey, whatever works.

Fridays

Today is a Thursday.

So why did I name this Post "Fridays?" Because I just read the following quote from Joseph B. Wirthlin:

"Each of us will have our own Fridays—those days when the universe itself seems shattered and the shards of our world lie littered about us in pieces. We all will experience those broken times when it seems we can never be put together again. We will all have our Fridays. But I testify to you in the name of the One who conquered death—Sunday will come. In the darkness of our sorrow, Sunday will come. No matter our desperation, no matter our grief, Sunday will come. In this life or the next, Sunday will come.”

I try to post about positive things most of the time, but now and then I feel like 'REAL LIFE' is okay to throw in. This is - after all - a type of personal history. So here goes...

Being single and on my own for nearly ten years now, I have done really well for the most part. But the last little while has been really hard. I feel lonely. I feel undesirable and overweight. I feel like I'm going to be alone forever. I feel like my life revolves around my son (I would never trade that for the world) and my job, and Kathy is getting lost in there somewhere with an empty tank. To sum it up: I feel like I'm having a few "Fridays." And on top of that, I feel old. I just browsed an LDS Singles site and realized I'm at the HIGH end of the "mid-singles" age range (31-45). Next month I'll be turning 44.

When I was first divorced I thought for sure I'd find someone within a decent period of time, and remarry and live happily ever after. I'm not naive enough to think that being married guarantees "happily ever afters," but there are sure times when having someone to share life with seems pretty darned awesome. There are so many of "us" out there. Soooooo many! More than you would ever imagine if you've never delved into this singles world. I had no idea when I was married. It is literally a whole other world. People who have tossed, and people who have been tossed. For myriads of different reasons.

I've met a TON of other singles. I've dated a bunch. I've also had my quiet times when I've put that whole dating life on the back burner. There are pros and cons to both situations, as with almost everything in life.

But today - on this Thursday - being alone feels like a Friday to me.

Regardless, I am STILL thankful for everything my Heavenly Father has blessed me with. I love my son with all my heart, and pray for him many times each day. Out loud and in my heart. Sure, he can drive me crazy. He's a teenager. That's his job. And he's an overachiever. :) I have a safe, comfortable home. Good friends. Great ward. Food to eat. Books to read. Music to sing and listen to.

I have the Gospel and a loving Heavenly Father who wants me to be happy, and who wants to bless me -- I will keep living worthily so that I may one day enjoy the fullness of all He has in store for me.

I have a Savior who knows exactly how I am feeling because He has suffered those pains for me that through the Atonemenent I may be comforted and made whole. Not just for my sins, but for my sorrows and weaknesses. I love Him and He knows that.

I'm supposed to end my post with a positive note. But maybe - just for today - I'm just going to leave it here.

And it will be okay.

Swiss Days

This weekend I took advantage of a small window of opportunity to get away and see some different scenery. Like I mentioned in an earlier post, I went to the Soldier Hollow Classic. I also went to Swiss Days. This is an annual tradition - also held up in Midway, UT - where vendors host booths, there is food galore, and music by live bands and performers.

One of the booths had some great inspirational quotes. I couldn't afford to buy them, but I snapped some photos of some of my favorites. I can always design some of my own, right?

 

"I won't flirt with the darkness that

I came here to fight.

I am a

DAUGHTER OF GOD.

And I am holding on to VIRTUE.

I am confident in my DIVINITY.

You will find me on my Father's side,

no matter what the world may do."

 

 

 

"Promise me you'll always remember,

you are braver than you believe,

stronger than you seem,

and smarter than you think!"

 

 

"No one else can know

the strength of my LOVE for you.

After all... you know what

 my heart sounds like from the inside."

 

"Pray hardest

when it's the hardest to pray."

 

 

"She stood in the STORM.

When the wind did not

BLOW HER WAY,

she adjusted her sails."

Soldier Hollow Classic

Each Labor Day weekend Midway, UT (near Heber) hosts the Soldier Hollow Classic - a national sheepdog competition. Trainers and their sheepdogs come from all over the world to compete. The handler (trainer) stands at the base of the mountainside and - through whistle commands - send their sheepdog up the side of the hill to wrangle six sheep down the mountain in a group, through gates, into a shedding ring, and finally into a pen in 12 minutes.

Here is one of the competitors we saw.

 

This goes from Friday through Monday with the top 15 dogs competing on Labor Day (Monday) for the National Championship. It's really interesting to watch. BUT it's very hot, so thankfully they have other events and booths to enjoy as well...

My favorite part of going is the Splash Dogs! These dogs run off a dock and jump forward with all their might to catch a toy their owner throws into this big long pool. Anybody can bring their dog to compete. They have different heats all throughout the weekend with different sizes/classes of dogs. Many of the dogs yesterday were brand new to it, and had never done it before. They were so cute. They'd run to the edge of the dock and stop dead in their tracks. Usually they would eventually jump in right at the edge, retrieve their toy, and walk out on the ramp. Each time they get a little less timid, and eventually they will be confident enough to GO FOR IT. It is SO much fun to watch. Here is a pic of one of our favorite dogs. He had some serious vertical height in his jumps. I think he typically went about 18 feet! The dogs love this. They come out of the pool and run right back onto the dock with their tails wagging like crazy as if to say, "Again! Again!"

Happy Birthday Mom & Sterling!

Mom and Sterling ALMOST share the same birthday. They are only one day apart - other than that, they are the same exact age. Sterling's birthday is August 13th and Mom's is August 14th. They just turned 84 years young. Leslie and I wanted to do something for them to let them know they're important to us - something more than just a phone call. We ran to the store and bought some little angel food cakes, whipped cream, strawberries, glaze, and candles. Then we showed up at their place and surprised them. It was fun to see the smiles on their faces when we presented their "birthday cakes" to them with candles blazing. :)

Gayle had given them their birthday hats - so they had to wear those of course. They enjoyed the little treats and birthday hugs. I'm so glad we took the time to go see them in person! Love you Mom and Sterling!