On Friday, October 24, 2014 heaven gained one of its finest angels. My Papa Sterling returned home to his Heavenly Father after living one of the BIGGEST lives ever lived.
My brother Keith and I were given the opportunity to share a few thoughts and memories at his funeral. It was an honor to do so because I loved him like a father.
Here is my talk:
Kathy’s Talk – Sterling’s Funeral
(October 28, 2014)
Good
Afternoon Brothers and Sisters,
My name is
Kathy Folkersen Gotchy and I am Mardene’s youngest child. It is my privilege to
be able to share a few thoughts and memories with you today about our Papa and
Grandpa Sterling. I’m grateful to Sterling and his family for allowing me this
opportunity.
Sterling was a blessing in our lives from the very beginning. Many
of you may not know that my mom and Sterling grew up a few houses apart from
each other in Salt Lake City. They were each other’s first dates when they were
15 years. In 1998, my mother’s sister, Deaunn Moulton Weed passed away. As
Sterling was reading through obituaries, he recognized her name and maiden
name, and looked down to see my mom’s name and married name. Then, when my
father passed away in May of 1999, Sterling recognized his name and made the
decision to come to his viewing not only to see my mom, but he and Beverly had
also been next door neighbors to my dad’s brother, my Uncle Dick. Keep in mind,
he and my mom hadn’t seen each other for 53 years. I was standing next to my
mom at the viewing when Sterling came through the line. I remember a very tall
man with the presence of a general authority and a booming voice shaking my
mom’s hand and saying, “You probably don’t remember me, do you?” She looked up
into his smiling eyes and replied, “I do remember you. You gave me a box
of gum once.”
After that
he frequently sent her notes on the stationery of the hotel in whatever country
he was visiting – he was a world traveler and enjoyed that so much. He told her
he was there if she ever needed to talk as he had lost his beloved Beverly one
year prior and understood what she might be going through. They soon began
attending scripture study classes together, going out to dinner, and rekindling
their friendship from years ago. They laughed and talked and reminisced, and
laughed some more. My mom was a bit giddy and didn’t quite know what to think
of this gentleman who was courting her. One Sunday afternoon my mom called each
of us six children individually to ask if it was okay for her to take a ride
with Sterling to see the fall leaves in the canyons. All of us loved Sterling
from day one and saw that he made my mom laugh. We all gave our approval for
the drive, and it wasn’t long after that they were married for time in the
Jordan River Temple. One of the things I have admired most about both of them is
that they have always been supportive and respectful of each other’s eternal
companions – and have realized this relationship they shared was an added bonus
to two already wonderful marriages.
Back then
Sterling had quite a healthy appetite. The first time I met him, we went to
Pizza Hut and he pretty much enjoyed a whole pizza all by himself – with vigor
and making no excuses whatsoever! He always had to have his Tobasco sauce and Diet
Pepsi close at hand, and let me tell you, if Pepsi wasn’t available, there was
no point in drinking anything. But
this man did NOT like sour cream. I guess we can allow him a FEW faults.
;) We shared a love of some of the finer
things in life, such as fresh ground pepper from his very tall pepper mill.
Sometimes when I would visit, Sterling and I would play the piano together. I
would ask him to play the bottom hand of a hymn, and I would attempt – usually
quite poorly – to play the top hand. He was patient and always added his own
flair – rescuing the tune from sounding like a complete mess.
Sterling was
a bit of a prankster, often looking for the perfect opportunity to put ice down
my mom’s back. I’ll never forget his Cheshire cat grin when he was being
mischievous. We all know what I’m talking about, right grandkids?
Sterling was
a “Papa” in the truest sense of the word. He offered wise fatherly and
grandfatherly advice and counsel whenever we asked; and sometimes when we didn’t. He gave us Priesthood blessings and
father’s blessings without hesitation. He was always quick to give us one of
his great big bear hugs and kisses, and he would always look us square in the
eye and tell us he loved us.
When I asked
a few of our children their thoughts about Grandpa Sterling, these are some of
their responses:
He gives really good spiritual
advice. He’s wise, and he loves everyone; he’s really close to God.
He always wrote to me on my mission,
gave encouraging advice, understood what I was going through, and didn’t judge.
I remember the silly things he would
say.
Grandpa Sterling was a great man to
say the least. Just the way he loved everyone for who they were and always gave
them the time of day. He would always make you feel loved and always put others
before himself. He was SO talented.
Several years
back my siblings and I chose a day of the week to each check in on our mom to
make sure she was okay. My day was Wednesday. Every Wednesday morning I would
send a “Wednesday Check-In” email to both
my mom and Sterling and ask how they were. It has become a tradition that I
have grown to love. It kept us connected and gave us an opportunity to let each
other know what was going on in our lives. Papa Sterling would always answer
with an upbeat reply such as, “Your dear mother and I are vertical and ventilating.”
He would often share a scriptural reference or a quote from a General Authority
or conference talk, and he would always end by saying Love N Blessings or
something like that before closing with “Papa S” or more recently, “The
Resident Dinosaur.”
Sterling
served the Lord with fervor. He attended the temple weekly, and served in his
callings with great devotion. He would sit in his office every day, beginning very early in the morning and study his
scriptures or write in his journal or prepare a lesson… for many hours, with a
few games of “Hearts” on the computer thrown into the mix.
Gayle asked
me specifically to share with you a special experience I recently had with Papa
Sterling. But first, a little background. A few years ago my mom taught me how to
make hand-embroidered temple aprons. For those of you who may not be familiar
with these, they are a special and sacred item of clothing worn in the temple.
My Grandmother Moulton made over 160 of these aprons – one for each of her
eleven children, each of their spouses, and their children, as well as many more
that she donated to her Relief Society and the McDougal Funeral Home. My
mother learned from her, and has since made 37 aprons for grandchildren and
others, and I have made three or four. I had been working on my most recent
apron for quite a long time – since before the end of last year. Along the way
people would ask me who it was for, and I would reply “I don’t know. I usually
don’t know until I finish them.” A few weeks ago as I was literally putting the
last stitch into this most recent apron, the Spirit whispered to me that this
apron was supposed to be for Sterling. It was such a great feeling, I didn’t
want it to pass, and I immediately knew that was what I wanted to do with it.
Over the next few days as I was putting the finishing touches on it I was
excited, but a little apprehensive, as to how and when to present this apron to
him. I wanted him to know and understand what I was doing when I gave it to
him.
The
Folkersen family has been so blessed by our association with Sterling and his
wonderful family, so speaking on behalf of all of us, we thank you, Gayle and
Bruce and your families, for allowing us to share with you the past 14 years
with this wonderful man. In closing I’d like to share a few words from Sterling
which he sent to the Folkersen kids in a recent email:
I Thank You each again for your
love, my relationship with you, and the many, many, many, many, many kindnesses
you have shown to me over the some 14 years you that have “allowed” me to be
with your mother! When she first asked you if you thought it was OK if
she went for a ride with me in Oct 1999, I wonder what would have happened if
you had said “No.” Thankfully I deluded you then and have continued to do
so _ _
I
have had some difficulty keeping her under control but then you know “the rest
of the story”. We have had such fun: during our world travels,
temple attendance, Etc. And, most importantly, just daily living.
She (and you) have contributed so much to my life. You have been ever forgiving
of and willing to put up with my idiosyncrasies and eccentricities! As I
have said on other occasions, the Folkersens and the Provosts will be ‘one
happy family’ throughout the eternities.
‘Tis enuf
for now. May our Father in Heaven bless each of us as we all strive to do
that which he requires of us [D&C 82:3]. I add to this my love for
you, “...this day and always.”
My deep and sincere Love, my Blessings and great Gratitude for who you are
and what you are!!
Love
N Blessings
Papa
S
We love you
Papa Sterling and will never forget the things you taught us and the love you
showed us. We miss you. May you continue to guide us and inspire us throughout
our lives—and for generations to come—until we are able to be with you again is
my prayer, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Here are a few of the photos...
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